yes, you are wasting it… and a TON of it at that. I know I was when I was working a job I thought I loved. This new way of doing business is here to stay and one thing I suggest you consider is looking at the way you approach your day and specifically: what method you use to decide what you do/take action on.
See most people operate from probability. Calculated action. I could do this this or this and it has a high chance of creating this (X result) for me. Sounds familiar right? But what great work are you ever going to create, and how much fun are you ACTUALLY having operating from such a weak, scared, and safe place. Really think about it. Hey I know how to play the game – I can pretend, put my mask on, and strut my stuff like no one’s business but at the end of the day I have to live with my results… so do you.
How about when you sit down to decide what you’re going to do you put aside your “to-do list”, things that are urgent, and your “job or business” work and you approach something my business partner and I call Irresistible Possibilities – things that aren’t certain, but you could somehow MAYBE you even just MIGHT be able to pull that action off and start there.

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